Most of us tend to believe that other people’s opinions matter the most. And honestly, I'm not here to convince you that their opinions don’t matter at all—because in all reality, we care about what our friends and family think. And that's okay! But for today's blog post, I'd like to share a bit of a personal story - the moment I realized that, while I care about what they think, their opinions never matter as much as my own.
A few years ago, I went camping with some friends. I love camping! Despite everything taking twice as long, things always being a little dirty, and sleeping on a blow up pad never quite measuring up to an actual bed - it’s just so lovely to be in nature. Time slows down, and nothing matters as much as the moment you're in. And perhaps my favorite part? Sitting around the camp fire. There’s something so mesmerizing about watching the flames dance and feeling the heat on your skin.
And because this feels like a particularly important part of the camping experience to me, I took it upon myself to build and maintain the fire on this trip. I have made fires before, but something about doing it in front of others felt intimidating... not everyone knows how to start and keep a fire going, and it feels like an important and impressive skill to have!
And let me tell you, an impressive fire was built indeed. It was big and warm and steady. I kept it going all night, constantly adding wood and making sure the flames stayed strong, all the while thinking... I am so cool.
However, DUN! DUN! DUN! This moment was somewhat short lived. As someone who tends to lean more towards the anxious side of things, something started to shift in me. I reached for another log and a thought came into my head: what if my friends are secretly wondering why I picked this piece?
What if they think I’m overdoing it?
What if they assumed someone else should’ve been in charge, and I just jumped in uninvited?
The confidence I’d been riding all night started to unravel. Nothing about the fire had changed - it was still burning and doing its job - but suddenly, I wasn’t having much fun. I felt self-conscious and unsure, questioning all my fire making skills.
Though interestingly, another thought occurred... my friends could have had their opinions or judgements about what I was doing from the very beginning. But at first, I didn't care - because *I* was proud of myself. The moment my own thoughts turned critical, everything felt different. Not because anything external had changed, but because of what was happening in me and my own mind.
And that’s the lesson: What you think matters more.
Not in a self-centered way - other people’s thoughts exist, but they’re often unknowable. What truly shapes our experiences is what we believe. And perhaps this also highlights just how powerful we really are - we have the choice to stand firm in the belief that we are that fire-making queen! Or to give into and run with the self-doubt rewrite.
I know this is easier said than done - our thoughts and feelings are powerful, and perhaps it's a continuous practice we carry with us. But maybe a good place to start is simply challenging the belief that other people’s opinions matter more than our own, because I promise you they don't.
Power of thoughts • Self-awareness • Self-reflection • Trust yourself • Overcoming self doubt